


Mission: Bath Time

by G_the_G



Series: RED: Related Extremely Dangerous [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, RED - Fandom, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Frank Moses is Darcy Lewis' Uncle, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 23:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10650756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/G_the_G/pseuds/G_the_G
Summary: 17 years before the events of Mission: Romance, Frank had a different goal entirely.





	Mission: Bath Time

A blur of brown hair and naked skin ran past Frank with a shriek and a giggle.

“Darcy, come back here! It’s bath time.” 

She paused at the end of the hall, caught off guard by him actually using her real name. But since he didn’t do anything beyond wait with his usual stern expression, she giggled and took off running again.

He let out a sigh. Somehow, in the minute he’d stepped out of the room to answer the phone and assure her parents she was alive and not bound and gagged, she’d stripped off all her clothes and made it past him. Even more surprising, she’d been able to slip out of his grip twice already. Admittedly, he was more going more for subdue than maim, which was his usual tactic, but more than half of the operatives he worked with could learn from the kid.

“I’m serious.” He yelled. “You gotta take a bath. Now!”

A giggle from somewhere else in the house was his only response.

Frank Moses was a name often said in hushed tones and whispers of fear. He’d taken out special forces units all on his own, led military coups with nothing but a pistol and a pager, and toppled entire governments and been back home for dinner. But he couldn’t get a four year old to take a bath. 

Conceding this momentary victory to his niece, he went to go find Darcy instead of standing his ground. Five minutes later, he’d finally cornered her in the kitchen where she’d gotten into the Milano cookies her mom had stashed on top of the refrigerator. How she’d gotten up there so quietly or quickly, he’d never know.

“Gotcha.” He reached up and tried to get her down and into a firm hold without dropping her on her head. A task she did not make easy with all her shrieks and kicking. “Come on, Wentworth. You do this every day. Why can’t you just cooperate and make it easy on yourself. And me.”

She merely giggled and continued with her flailing. By sheer luck, one of her kicks made contact with a rather delicate area, and Frank found himself doubled over despite his training and pain tolerance, nearly tearing up. 

“Okay, okay,” he wheezed. He’d luckily managed to keep hold of her wrist, so he dragged her closer, not bothering to stand up. Instead, he held onto her shoulders and looked into her eyes. Ready to make a deal with the devil. “If you take a bath, I’ll show you how to make your daddy cry.”

Her nose scrunched up as she thought about that.

“Why would I want to make daddy cry? That’s mean.”

Frank scrubbed his free hand over his face.  _ Think like a kid, think like a kid _ . With a sudden moment of inspiration, he smiled. “Fine. If you go take a bath right now, I’ll teach you how to catch faeries.”

Darcy gasped and began bouncing in place. “And goblins, too?!”

He nodded slowly. “And goblins too.”

She let out another shriek of excitement and took off running again. This time in the direction of the bathroom.

Her uncle followed at a slower pace, beginning to inventory what he could use around the house for snares and traps. Because a booby trap for soldiers in guerrilla warfare should work on faeries and goblins as well.


End file.
